Overcoming grief and hardship

My name is Samantha Sturgeon and I would like to share my story. I have suffered so much loss in such little time. No one should go through what I have lost.
On September 3, 2010, my sister’s life was cut short. She was found murdered in Thunder Bay and shortly after my cousin Nate Quequish took his own life. At the time I was eight months pregnant with my son Ashton Henry Nate Turtle Jr. I was in Thunder Bay with my boyfriend who was in the hospital and was receiving treatment for cancer.
At times I felt like giving up with all the things that are going on in my life. But then I would feel him kicking inside of me and I knew I had something to live for.
In October 22, 2010 my son was born. We were so happy to meet our son. But then on April 7, 2011 (the day after my late sister’s birthday), my mother died of a broken heart. She couldn’t bear to live without my sister. I mean she loved all of us, but losing my sister was too much.
When we lost her I felt like that was it. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t even take care of my son. All I did was cry. I felt so weak I had to get away from everyone.
So I went for a walk, and I found myself talking to her. Even though I couldn’t see her I knew she was listening. Suddenly I felt this warm feeling inside of me, something I never felt before.
It was then I knew she was no longer in pain and that she was happy.
But then suddenly my whole world came crashing down again.
On December 14, 2011, my son had to say good-bye to his father as we took him off life support. Till this day my son remembers his “Dada”, as he called him. There is nothing more heartbreaking than seeing your child looking down at his father’s casket and saying, “Dada”.
On December 25, 2011 (Christmas Day), my cousin Ruby Gliddy suddenly passed away. I kept thinking to myself “What did I do that was so wrong?
But there was one person that was always there for me through all of this. I am so blessed to have someone like her in my life. She is my sister. She is my dearest friend. Her name is Jessie Penner.
In these past two years we lost nine family members altogether. With all the losses that my family has been through we still put a smile on our faces because in the end all we will have is each other.
I hope my story helps those of you who have suffered the same feelings of loss by letting you know you are not alone.
Samantha Sturgeon is from Kitchenuhmaykoosib Inninuwug.
If you have a story you want to share, email Wawatay at editor@wawatay.on.ca