Staying through the teenage journey

I recently had a worrying conversation with a troubled teen through an online social-networking site.
This young lady resides in a very isolated community where the Internet is the fastest way to reach the outside world. There were public posts made by this girl in which she threatened suicide. This disturbed me immensely, as it should anyone else who would read such posts.
It reminded me of an article I read about a Taiwanese woman who committed suicide over the same social-networking site while her friends watched via pictures she was taking. They didn’t even call the authorities to save her. They didn’t take it as seriously as they should have.
The teen later messaged me privately and described how she felt that her life wasn’t worth living. She explained that she was trying to seek help but nobody ever really listened. She said that she felt hopeless, and believed death was the only way to escape the hurt. It upset me to read these messages because I know how young this person is, and I know that there is still a whole life for her to live and a whole world to experience.
It’s hard to see that when you are a teenager, especially when your community is so far away. I sent her a reply from the heart. Since then, the “clouds” seem to have passed for her and she is alright.
Unfortunately, “clouds” can always come rolling right back.
I lived in a reservation for a few years, much like the one where the young girl resides.
I know how the isolation of living in these communities can affect you in a profoundly negative way when you are depressed. You feel like you need to run away but you really can’t.
You need money to pay for your plane ticket out and sometimes you just can’t afford to pay that price, especially when there aren’t too many jobs available to work for it.
Our youth are our future, and they are trying to deal with so many problems right now in different ways. Our youth are not always succeeding in coping with their issues. We are losing a great number of our adolescents.
Suicide is never an answer for pain; it is simply a quick end to it. Suicide is also a beginning (for the family and friends) of a life full of grief and unanswered questions over the loss of a loved-one.
Over-indulging in alcohol and drugs is not a way to numb the pain. I once read a post online about how “drinking helps the pain go away, but sometimes causes new problems”. Drinking does not make any pain go away, it just turns it into drunk-pain.
Teenage-drinking recently resulted in the end of another young life, the life of a person I used to see every day on the reservation I once lived in. Teenagers aren’t supposed to be dying young; they are supposed to grow into adults who have their own children. They are supposed to become Elders who have grandchildren who run around and ask them: “shoonya, miinshin?”
I noticed another issue surfacing again online called “cutting.” What is “cutting”? Cutting is when someone cuts their skin (enough to feel pain and bleed a little).
It is done as a way to deal with pain. It is often done in secret, unless the “cutter” really wants you to notice so in that case, you should ask what is wrong. The “cutter” is asking for help because something is distressing them.
There are so many unhealthy, preventable ways of dealing with pain. And what is pain for a person if there is nothing physically wrong with them? The second entry for the word “pain” in the online Merriam-Webster dictionary is “acute mental or emotional distress or suffering.”
So that being said, eating disorders are a way of dealing with pain. Bullying is a way of dealing with pain. Inhaling solvents is a way of dealing with pain. Drinking alcohol is a way of dealing with pain.
Sleeping around is a way of dealing with pain. Getting in trouble with the law is a way of dealing with pain. Taking another person’s life is a way of dealing with pain. Pain. Pain. Pain.
Our youth are in pain right now.
There are too many young Anishinabe lives affected by different kinds of pain to not take-notice. The youth have to learn other ways to deal with their issues.
When a young person so blatantly cries out for help (like threatening suicide) then don’t be afraid to ask what is wrong. Don’t be afraid to listen.
And you kids with your “hungry games” and pants that look way too tight, don’t be afraid to talk to someone you trust about what is bothering you – that’s why they have your trust in the first place.
It isn’t easy to make it through the teenage years but it happens every day. Your journey has only just begun.
So stay in school. Stay healthy emotionally, spiritually and physically.
Stay strong.
Just stay.